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Author Topic: Writing Assignment  (Read 753 times)
horsecrazy333
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« on: January 03, 2008, 04:16:33 PM »

Critique my paragraph on snow. I think I am saying snowflakes too much. I am supposed to have 6 details so I need to add more. Any ideas on what to add? I don't expect you to know what to add because it is my paragraph but I am really stuck.

                               Every Little Snowflake
    My favorite thing to do in the snow is catch snowflakes. Wearing a dark colored coat, you can see each and every snowflake you catch. At least once every snowfall I go outside to catch the beautiful snowflakes. Each snowflake is unique and ornate. They all have their own detailed design.(I need 2-3 more details and a closing)

Thanks!
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pony lover
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« Reply #1 on: January 03, 2008, 07:02:05 PM »

well on the last "snow flake"""" u could put each one is ...
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about me:  i want to open a horse rescue like heartland my favorite horse: chick!!!!
he's about 15.6 hh and thour/quarter horse mix he use to race but they said he was to slow so this one woman rescued him and
in no way is unspoiled
his real name is way to long to remember so he goes by chick



horsecrazy333
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« Reply #2 on: January 03, 2008, 07:03:08 PM »

ok i will go change that in the word document right now that is a good idea.
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soccerfan611
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« Reply #3 on: January 03, 2008, 08:24:09 PM »

Every little snowflake
My favorite thing to do in the winter when the snowflakes start falling is catch them. Wearing my dark colored red coat, when ever I do catch one I like admiring it once in awhile. At least once every snowfall I go outside in the cold winter weather to catch the beautiful one of the kind snowflakes. Each no like another. It is amazing to see how little snowflakes like these can form heaps of snow. The snowflakes are what make winter a special touch of holidays.

I guess u have a start Undecided i hope it helps!!! srry i couldn't get to it sooner!
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horsecrazy333
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« Reply #4 on: January 03, 2008, 08:35:28 PM »

ok i used some of those ideas to make my final copy
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soccerfan611
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« Reply #5 on: January 03, 2008, 08:38:20 PM »

my writing sounds corny i spent like 5 minutes on it!! sorry!! but do can u post u're final copy on here??
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horsecrazy333
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« Reply #6 on: January 03, 2008, 08:44:15 PM »

maybe
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soccerfan611
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« Reply #7 on: January 03, 2008, 08:47:47 PM »

ok!!!!
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SpiritM
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« Reply #8 on: January 10, 2008, 12:42:06 PM »

Okey-dokey-diddly-pokey.
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soccerfan611
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« Reply #9 on: January 10, 2008, 06:37:00 PM »

LOL! that was quite random!
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horsecrazy
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« Reply #10 on: March 29, 2008, 04:14:13 AM »

but randoms good!  lol

XxX
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SpiritM
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« Reply #11 on: April 12, 2008, 05:32:42 AM »

Random, is a really, overused word.

Everything is random, right?
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horsecrazy
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« Reply #12 on: April 12, 2008, 05:59:58 AM »

true.. well in some cases!    Grin
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